With Nature
To reconnect with nature is to reconnect with yourself. After all, we are nature too.
A couple weeks ago, I hiked Saddle Mountain with a friend. I had been hyping up this hike to them for the last several months so when we pulled up to the parking lot and it was cloudy and misting, I thought “Oh crap”. We hiked through the fog and as the wildflowers began to emerge along the trail, the fog started parting ways and the sun shone through, hazy and golden like a dream. Around every corner was a beautiful treat. The hills were COVERED in wildflowers in swaths of yellow, white, purple and speckles of orange and red. We rounded one bend and I gasped as the sunlight created rays of light and mist beaming through the trees. We rounded another bend and we were suddenly above all the clouds. I love this hike for a reason. It’s magic every time!
That hike ignited something in me - an insatiable itch to be in the wilderness. In 2019-2020, the summers were absolutely packed with backpacking, camping and hiking trips. I slept in some incredible places those years, saw the most magical sunsets and ate dehydrated pad thai with the best of company. The last couple summers have looked so different as circumstances and the lives of myself and my friends have changed. In the last several months, I have felt achingly nostalgic for those summers spent in the alpine, in tents. And in the last week, I have had the strongest need to go be in nature and return to myself and my why.
Starting this business and choosing it full time, was one of the biggest risks and leaps I’ve ever taken. It’s forced me to face a lot of patterns and inner beliefs that have been working against me. I have been rejected time and time again and I have put myself out there despite that, time and time again. I’ve been so optimistic and hopeful, trusting that little voice that says this feels right, keep going, keep going, keep going. So far this year has been so full of shedding and rebirthing and being so damn uncomfortable.
It’s all catching up to me and I need a moment to breathe and rebalance. I’m tired of spinning my wheels and pushing and hustling and shouting about work into the void where I continue to receive crickets. I believe in my work so wholeheartedly and I look forward to the day when this all works out. In the meantime, I’m tired and I need mama earth to hold me for a little bit.
I resuscitated my old outdoor photography instagram account. My nature/landscape photography has been neglected the last few years and has not had a place to live and glow. After all, outdoor photography is where it all began for me. Those are my roots and I’m feeling called back to them for a bit. If you are curious to follow along: @lensfocusd